living life to the fullest with dissociative identity disorder and other mental And physical illnesses
Hello everyone,
So, I went on Tuesday to get my IV fluids infusion. Well, we are alergic to the huge tegaderm dressing they used. apparently, they didn’t use the right dressing. So, yesterday, we went to get tthem again, and they changed the dressing. So thankful they did that. My skin feels a lot better. Thank goodness!!!
Ray
So, I had my appointment with the PA at our POTS doctor’s office yesterday through telehealth. She spoke to my doctor, and they are going to give me IV fluids every other day for 8 weeks. Trying to decide if I should leave my port accessed during the week to lower the risk of infection from being accessed and deaccessed multiple times a week. I’m just confused as to why he would say I can have IV fluids every other day for 8 weeks, and then take it away if it’s working? I’m completely NPO in terms of fluids because whatever I do drink or eat is drainable and doesn’t digest anyway. I’m glad I’m getting more fluids, but why do they have to give it to me and then take it away? I’m feeding tube dependent. I have gastroparesis as well. Sorry for venting…
Ray
Rayette Rucker
World Services for the Blind
Assistive Technology Instructor Online Trainee
Google Voice Number: 3146379985
JAWS 2020 certified
The Hand
Thanksgiving Day was near. The first grade teacher gave her class a fun assignment — to draw a picture of something for which they were thankful.
Most of the class might be considered economically disadvantaged, but still many would celebrate the holiday with turkey and other traditional goodies of the season. These, the teacher thought, would be the subjects of most of her student’s art. And they were.
But Douglas made a different kind of picture. Douglas was a different kind of boy. He was the teacher’s true child of misery, frail and unhappy. As other children played at recess, Douglas was likely to stand close by her side. One could only guess at the pain Douglas felt behind those sad eyes.
Yes, his picture was different. When asked to draw a picture of something for which he was thankful, he drew a hand. Nothing else. Just an empty hand.
His abstract image captured the imagination of his peers. Whose hand could it be? One child guessed it was the hand of a farmer, because farmers raise turkeys. Another suggested a police officer, because the police protect and care for people. Still others guessed it was the hand of God, for God feeds us. And so the discussion went — until the teacher almost forgot the young artist himself.
When the children had gone on to other assignments, she paused at Douglas’ desk, bent down, and asked him whose hand it was.
The little boy looked away and murmured, "It’s yours, teacher."
She recalled the times she had taken his hand and walked with him here or there, as she had the other students. How often had she said, "Take my hand, Douglas, we’ll go outside." Or, "Let me show you how to hold your pencil." Or, "Let’s do this together." Douglas was most thankful for his teacher’s hand.
Brushing aside a tear, she went on with her work.
The story speaks of more than thankfulness. It says something about teachers teaching and parents parenting and friends showing friendship, and how much it means to the Douglases of the world. They might not always say thanks, but they’ll remember the hand that reaches out.
"Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:24
"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8
Rayette Rucker
World Services for the Blind
Assistive Technology Instructor Online Trainee
Google Voice Number: 3146379985
JAWS 2020 certified
Nausea… Go away!!! I just want sleep!!! Having a GP and POTS and EDS flare!!! What do you do for breakthrough nausea? Already took my orally decentigrating tablet, and can’t take another one for 5 more hours!! My BP is 88/48 and when I stand, my HR goes from 79 to 128. Ugh!!! How do you get your docs to give you IV Zofran? Ray
Hello Dustin,So, when we switched from 4 cartons to 5, they didn’t send enough cartons. I called the emergency person yesterday, and they said that technically, it wasn’t an emergency because I still had enough formula for overnight. I have 3 cartons for today and no more after that. I’ve been running liquid IV since yesterday afternoon when my cartons for the morning were finished. They sent me a total of 150 cartons with the 69 that they had sent when I got home from the hospital, and the 81 that they sent when we switched to the 5 cartons a day. I had already started to use 5 cartons a day from the 69 that I first got. The lady on the phone was blaming me for being out of formula, and she said that we could get the branch to deliver some if they had my formula in stock. She then said that if this happened again, that we would have to pay a $150 delivery fee. I’m on a fixed income… I just felt attacked when I called asking for help. Maybe not attacked, but blamed. Thanks for reading.
Ray
hi its nina. im 6. i hate all the bad pictures in my head. the noises. i dont wanna go there agin. i dont lik it. da pictures mak me sad and skard. i not lik them. i kno how to type but not how to spel good. im wake now cuz of bad dreems… no fun.Nina 6
So, these are some of my reflections for this morning as I sit here listening to music.
God, are you there? I ask this question all the time. As I sit here thinking about all the chronic illnesses I’ve been dealt. I could be angry and resentful that God would let this happen to me, or I could see that he made me like this to help other people and to see that maybe he wants to use me to help others, because after all, my story does matter and i matter.
Why did I have to go through trauma and be diagnosed with DID? Well, I can tell you this, I have DID because it makes me stronger and each of my alters are a testament to that strength. They each are a piece of the puzzle that may at times seem complicated and hard to solve, but it is a beautiful masterpiece made in God’s incomprehensible beauty and wisdom. So, on the hard days when trauma and flashbacks are overtaking me, I remember that I am made in His image. He decides the plans for my life, and nothing happens without a reason, whether that be to teach me a lesson, or whether it be for me to gain more wisdom, there is a reason for everything. If you are going through a hard time, God wants you to know that he’s not finished with you yet. He has so much more planned for you, more than you will ever comprehend or know. Much love,
Ray
So, I have POTS and gastroparesis and EDS. I have a port. My POTS doctor is only willing to give me 2 L a week of IV fluids for three weeks. I’m tube dependent as well. I also take Lenzess and so lose fluids there as well. If I didn’t take it though, I would be constipated. I went to my urogynocology doctor for pelvic floor biofeedback therapy, and my urine was a dark yellow color. So, I’m dehydrated. I can’t get more fluids through my tube than I’m already getting. He will not recommend any more fluids than what he is going to give me. I’m completely lost, because I keep telling him that I only get 1228 MG of sodium through my formula a day. I can’t mix salt or add anything else to my feeds because It can mess with how the formula is absorbed in the small intestines. If I don’t get more fluids after the three weeks, I will keep ending up in the hospital for dehydration. So, what’s the point of me having this port then? I’m just at a loss. Any advice? The POTS doctor is saying that hopefully my body will adjust. They are also leaving it to my GI doctors to manage the nutrition and hydration stuff, but the GI doctors don’t specialize in POTS… ugh!!!
Ray
Rayette Rucker
World Services for the Blind
Assistive Technology Instructor Online Trainee
Google Voice Number: 3146379985
JAWS 2020 certified
my multiple life 